I follow a blog about the writing/self-publishing experience.  Well… I sort of do.  I’ve read a few posts and even commented on a couple.  The blog host replied, and I liked that.  Be in touch with your audience, right?  Anyway, since I am now beginning to see my life in a new light, I have been forced to acknowledge there is no way to go forward without starting over; I mean from scratch.  If I say I am a writer but never write, then I’m not.  Writing is not intangible like words on air.  Thus, this blog was born. I am at the beginning.

I started reading Jack Canfield’s “The Success Principles”, Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now”, Stephen King’s “On Writing”, and Annie Dillard’s “The Writing Life”.  It’s a lot of reading.  I’m hoping I can refine myself and learn to produce the creative work I long to.  The blog host I referred to earlier warned against reading about your passions if you say you want to do them.  Time can be wasted.  I’m going to have to be careful about that.  I have a pattern of getting things done that keep me from getting down to the real work of creating.

I realized ten years ago I was not living the creative life I felt born for. Yet, it took serious disaster in my life to push me from the pining for a creative life to the terrifying, unknown world of my imagined life’s purpose.

I still struggle with insecurity and doubt about my worthiness.  Those timid words from my youth, “I want to be an artist” never went away, they just became a whisper, then a thought.  Now, it’s like life and death for me.  It’s my last hope.

I thought it would be helpful if, as I read books to help myself develop my untapped potential, I could relay some of my thoughts about the impact they make.  I can tell you right now, the beginning of Annie Dillard’s book seems pumped with esoteric speeches for fellow writers to nod their heads at.  I just want the dirt.  That’s why I picked up Stephen King’s book.  Not so fancy schmancy writing, but the heavy-hitter telling it like it is as clearly as possible.  What does it mean to be a writer?   My form is rough at this point, but I will let you know that William Strunk’s “The Elements of Style” will also be my teacher, so be patient.

At any point, if someone wants to give advice, I’ll consider it.  Julia Cameron’s book, “The Artist’s Way” first got me moving out of the sludge that held my spirit, and her advice about filling our well is ever-present with me.  I can take in everything and use only what I need to make the art I want.  I get sort of giddy thinking about it.  I can choose.  It’s my life…