I am learning to paint with oils! All my life I wanted to be a painter. I never tried to pursue it for one reason or another. Now is my chance. Since this blog is sort of my journal, I will post most of my work, including studies or classwork. It’s really about having a visual chronicle of my growth or death as an artist. If I stop posting, I’m obviously dying.
Oil painting is wondrous. The palette; the colors; the brushes; the scent; the smooth, soft movement of paint along the canvas thrill me. At the same time I remain terrified. So afraid I can’t learn to paint with skill and confidence because I’m not really an artist, just a fantasizer. The fear really spoils the fun. Watching other artists paint is so exciting, yet so foreign to how I feel inside.
At a recent painting demo I attended, the featured artist approached his canvas like a dance partner. Careless of onlookers or critiques, the dance was very personal and engaging to watch. I want that chemistry with my craft. I’m tired of wanting to be an artist. My life must be about taking action. Slow but consistent action.
I acknowledge I will have other priorities before painting. However, the whole wanting thing is getting old… I need to dance!!! My commitment to beginning from the beginning will change my life. I intend to find out if I have it in me to paint from the heart and hopefully touch the hearts of others as a result. Am I really an artist or will I let my head get in the way of ever knowing what I am? I know I don’t want to be remembered as a wimp.
In class I am being introduced to light and shadow. The studies originally began with all lighted areas as one color and all shaded areas as one color. We divided 9″ x 12″ panels into four sections. (I didn’t post the first set.) We expanded the lesson by making light and shadow in two hues for the object and two hues for the background. Then, we tried to convey a multi-colored object with more complex shadows. My color mixing needs work, as do my drawing skills.
I have forgotten what it feels like to be sure. To truly be in tune to yourself and what you want to bring forth is powerful. To know exactly how to direct that next stroke, that next word, that next action, that next thought is enlightenment. If I am left alone long enough with my creativity, I think I can visit that place again and eventually dwell there. At least as far as my artwork goes. For now, I can only try not to waste time. Creativity has not yet been given its rightful place on my calendar.
The sample with the pepper and rock (color choice was not important, the pepper just got lucky), is probably my most confident piece so far. It is the fifth of eight studies I need to complete as homework before meeting again next week. I felt better painting it. A little calmer towards the end. It’s amazing how such little (6″ x 5″) paintings can feel so big and threatening to me. Like a lion ready to pounce if I don’t keep talking my panic down. Every time I finish one from right to left, top to bottom, I feel a huge weight lift.
Painting is barely knocking on my door. Finally. I have waited so long… I’m hopeful, if scared. At some point I want painting to pick me up and teach me how to dance.
#6 of eight
#7 of eight
I am adding the following samples that were done in class six months after I did the ones above. I would like to say I am getting better at quick painting sketches. We were given 20 minutes for each study. I still suck…
Obviously, I was not able to complete each study in the allotted time.
