I really struggled with this and almost didn’t post it. But, the whole point of this blog is for me to chronicle my growth or death as an artist. Trying to paint the river by my house is like drinking poison. I suppose I should be happy I have to move from this beautiful valley.

I was in a bad mood when I came in after two hours at the river. My painting was a failure. I wasn’t really prepared with the right supplies and had trouble getting a sketch down on the canvas. The composition I ended up with is too hard to understand: a shoreline would have given the context of the sky and tree reflections on the water.

Several groups had walked by and nobody said anything as I stressed out over how impossible water is to paint when you hardly know how to paint in the first place. It is really hard for me to keep thinking I might someday be good at this. There is almost nothing in my life that makes me believe there is any point for me to continue practicing creativity. In fact, almost everything leads me to believe I should give up on art and get a job at Starbucks.